A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Young Athletes the Right Way
If you’re a parent of a young athlete, you’ve likely asked yourself this question more than once:
“Am I helping — or am I pushing too hard?”
In youth sports, the line between encouraging and pressuring can get blurry. You want your child to succeed, work hard, and stay committed. But you also don’t want to be the reason they burn out, lose confidence, or fall out of love with the game.
The good news? You don’t have to guess. Research and experience show there are clear ways to support your athlete without overstepping. This blog outlines when to step in, when to step back, and how to be the kind of sports parent kids need most.
1. Support the Process, Not the Outcome
Cheering for a win feels good. But if your support only shows up when there’s a medal, a goal, or a win, your athlete may start to believe their worth depends on performance.
Instead:
– Praise effort, consistency, and resilience
– Ask questions like:
“What did you learn today?”
“What felt tough, and how did you handle it?”
– Celebrate small improvements — even if the scoreboard says otherwise
Research tip: Studies show that focusing on “mastery goals” (improvement, effort, learning) leads to better long-term motivation and lower performance anxiety than focusing on “ego goals” (winning, comparison, stats).
2. Know the Signs of Healthy Discomfort vs. Harmful Stress
Growth in sports is uncomfortable — conditioning hurts, failure stings, competition is emotional. But there’s a difference between productive struggle and harmful pressure.
Watch for:
– Healthy: Frustration followed by determination or reflection
– Concerning: Avoiding practices, faking injuries, crying after games, or saying “I’m not good enough” repeatedly
When stress outweighs joy, it’s time to reassess expectations — or simply ask, “Do you still enjoy this?” and listen carefully.
3. Let Coaches Coach — And Let Kids Compete
One of the hardest things to do as a parent: stay silent during games. But constant sideline coaching or critique, even if well-intended, adds pressure and confusion.
Best practices:
– Avoid giving technical feedback unless asked — leave that to the coach
– Don’t shout instructions mid-game; it splits the athlete’s focus
– After the game, ask: “Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather just relax?”
Kids need space to learn, make mistakes, and solve problems — without feeling like they’re performing for you.
4. Ask What Your Athlete Needs — Don’t Assume
Some athletes need a pep talk. Others need space. The only way to know what kind of support works? Ask them.
Try:
– “What helps you feel confident before a game?”
– “What should I say — or not say — after a tough loss?”
– “What do you want from me when you’re struggling in a season?”
Being adaptable shows your athlete that this journey is about them, not about your expectations or past experiences.
5. Be a Role Model for Emotional Control
If you lose your cool on the sideline, blame refs, criticize coaches, or vent about teammates — your child learns to do the same.
Try modeling:
– Respect for all players and officials
– Calm support, even when the game gets tense
– Positive reinforcement, even after a loss
Youth sports are about emotional development just as much as physical skill. Your example teaches them how to win — and lose — with grace.
There’s no perfect formula for parenting a young athlete — but here’s a good rule of thumb: if your support builds confidence, ownership, and love for the sport, you’re doing it right.
Push when they need a nudge. Back off when they need space. Stay involved without taking over.
Because your job isn’t to create a champion — it’s to help your child become a confident, resilient, and self-driven athlete.
And that’s a win that lasts longer than any season.
Coach Luc Tremblay is the Founder and Head Coach of Volleyball Winnipeg. Luc has been coaching volleyball for 30+ years with athletes of all age classes and all abilities. He has developed most of the training techniques used by VISION coaches and is responsible for the coach development program at Volleyball Winnipeg. For more details on our Coach Resources, click here.